Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Marvel And DC Can Super Blow Me

More retcons, more reboots, more bullshit? I think I've had enough.

I started getting back into the big two again (Marvel, DC) after taking some time off from both of them. I had been only buying books like Conan from Dark Horse and the Criminal series, with some other indy books scattered here and there. I liked the stories and the art work seemed nicer than what I was getting with the big guys.

Marvel pissed me off years ago when they chickened out on their own Ben Parker clone storyline. Imagine finding out that after issue #149 Peter Parker was a clone! (I have almost the entire run of Amazing, Spectacular and Web of Spider-Man) I thought that was actually pretty brave of Marvel.

Until they pussed out, changed their minds and then brought back The Green Goblin. After that, I hadn't purchased a Marvel book until around 2007. I started reading Spidey again and enjoying it until they did the whole "Brand New Day" gimmick and decided the Peter Parker/Mary Jane wedding never existed. Fuck me what? They've never heard of divorce? I haven't purchased a Spider-Man book since.

Eat a spidey-dick.

So I started reading the Avengers, The New Avengers, The Secret Avengers, The Unicorn Avengers, The Avenging Avengers, The Southern Crunk Avengers and the other 16 Avengers titles, but they got too monotonous too quick and weren't accessible to new readers. Hulk I gave up on after they decided to throw in every rainbow fucking colored Hulk into the books.

So I switched to DC. I still liked Batman and was always a fan of Superman. Justice League was cool but Green Lantern confused the shit out of me so I never picked those books up. DC was a big tougher for new readers to get into but if I was able to handle it at ten years old I think I could handle it today. So I started reading Batman again, picked up Flashpoint, and now I've learned that what I'm doing is pointless.

DC is starting all over again. Seriously?

They're rebooting every DC title starting with Justice League #1 in August. By September, another 51 titles (my god, 51?) will be starting over with #1.

Nice turtlenecks.

Will I be purchasing this new DC line at #1? Nope. I'm done. What's the point of collecting comics if all they do is retcon and reboot shit? Geoff Johns is quoted as saying, "What's the human aspect behind all these costumes? That's what I wanted to explore." 

So what the fuck have you guys been doing all these years? Not exploring the human aspect behind any of your characters? It's copout bullshit. They're going day and date with digital distribution and this is their new clean slate tracking measure for the new comic book business model. While I was currently enjoying the DC books, I'm done with them. I'm tired of the big 2 rebooting the fuck out of everything to try and bring in new readers. Still no concrete word on if the previous continuity of the books will be erased entirely. If it is or if it isn't, I won't be around to find out. There are plenty of other publishers out there like Dark Horse providing great entertainment for my dollar. I think I'll stick with them.

Am I jumping the gun? Am I in the wrong? Should I give the reboot a chance? Are you going to dive in to the new, younger, fresher, hipper DC line when it debuts? Let me know what you think.

Flame on.

- El Guapo